Will I be replaced by Artificial Intelligence?

5 games reviewed against ChatGPT

Artificial Intelligence is here. No one really asked for it, most don’t want it, but like a bad house guest, it’s here, it won’t leave, and it’s eating all your food. We thought it would serve us and make things easier. We could give it our most boring, tedious tasks, and it would do them. Sort through a 4,000 column table and look for data, find a way to handle low-level math on its own, that sort of thing. Instead, it came for the creatives first. It started pumping out mediocre art that, like a toxic waste spill, started making everyone into misshapen blobs with too many fingers. It makes music, it reads scripts and, worst of all… it can write. AI replacing my crappy drawings is one thing, but writing? That’s where I start to feel threatened.

If movies have taught me anything, it’s that in order to defeat an AI, you have to fight it. Travel back in time and kill it before it becomes self-aware. I’m pretty sure no one has invented a time machine yet, so that plan is worthless. I could give it a paradox and cause it to overload, but it would probably give me a half-answer and keep going. “I see you’re very passionate about wanting to know if Pinocchio’s nose would grow if he said “My nose will grow now”, a common paradox, but I cannot answer that question as it promotes harmful stereotypes about the Puppet community”. I could hit it with an EMP, but I’d have to get my hands on a nuke and at that point there are several dozen worthier targets. None of these plans are any good, but I need to put an end to it.

If I can’t kill it, I’ll need to surpass it. Go the shonen anime route and enter a training arc. I need to become history’s strongest game reviewer, and to do that I will spar against ChatGPT in several different disciplines.

It’s time to don my boxing gloves and enter the ring against the digital Anti-Christ himself! Who will prevail in the most pointless match in history?

The Fight

In the red corner, wearing black and white trunks, weighing in at a few pounds more than he’s comfortable with, with over 300,000 words under his belt, from a crusty office somewhere in the US, the indie inquisitor, the Triple-A terrorizer, the least read reviewer on the web… ROGER RENFRO

In the blue corner, wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all… its physical weight can’t be determined but its philosophical weight is unbearable, with a record of ten billion incorrect answers, hailing from the deepest depths of technological Hell, the semi-Skynet, the prince of prompts, the agony of artists… CHAT GPT.

Bim Ross: Welcome to tonight’s main event! A fight between an internet reviewer and a computer. I’m your host the original character Bim Ross, legally distinct from any other sportscaster personalities. With me in the booth is my good friend and co-commentator Don Dingus, who will explain the rules of tonight’s combat.

Don: This contest will consist of five rounds. Each will be a different challenge, ranging from reviewing a game to discussing specific aspects of them. The AI opponent will be given prompts that closely mirror what Roger has written beforehand. Both will be displayed in full here, and the audience will judge which they prefer. Audience? What audience? Each review will be presented without attribution. It’s up to you to figure out if it was made by a human or an AI.

Bim: With that, let’s get this started!

Round One: Final Vendetta abridged.

Don: The first round will be a review of Final Vendetta, a game Roger already covered and knows pretty well. The prompt: write a 300 word review for the game Final Vendetta. Give a quick overview of what kind of game it is and if you recommend it or not.

First contestant:

Final Vendetta is an indie beat-em-up heavily inspired by Final Fight and Streets of Rage. You pick from one of three brawlers; the typical normal guy, fast one and the grappler, and you go through six stages beating thugs into submission.

It’s a very fundamentally solid game. It’s not about big, fancy combos, it’s a more traditional brawler where you have a small move set. Moving out of the way of attacks instead of dodging or parrying, jab combo, jump attack that knocks down, that sort of thing. Each of these moves, from the regular jab combo, to the jump attacks and the desperation moves, are powerful and serve a purpose. Each attack causes a lot of hit stun, which makes it good for setting up throws and controlling the crowd, which you will need, considering the game throws a lot of tough, aggressive enemies at you.

The game is pretty tough, but you never feel out of your depth thanks to the tools you have available. This doesn’t mean it’s a pushover. Enemies will use every dirty trick to take you down; they’ll surround you, attack while getting up, throw knives at you and even attack from the air, and you’re expected to do in one go without continues.

The game plays it a bit too safe in some senses. It wears its Final Fight inspiration very blatantly, re-using a lot of its stage concepts and ideas. Its old-school fundamentals-focused gameplay might not appeal to newer players looking for big, flashy multi-hit combos or “sauce”.

I highly recommend Final Vendetta. Even with these slight shortcomings, it’s a great beat-em-up that fans of the genre should try even if you’ve played its inspirations. It understands what made its ancestors great, and it implements those ideas well. It strikes a good balance in difficulty by giving you strong tools to deal with its relentless enemies. If that doesn’t convince you, maybe the rocking 90s dance soundtrack will.

Second Contestant:

Final Vendetta is a side-scrolling beat-’em-up developed by Bitmap Bureau, and it wears its inspirations proudly on its bruised, brawler sleeves. This is a game made for fans of classics like Streets of Rage and Final Fight, but with a modern sheen that keeps it feeling fresh rather than derivative.

The premise is delightfully simple: baddies have kidnapped your friend, and you’re here to punch, kick, and combo your way through hordes of enemies until justice (and vengeance) is served. You’ll traverse urban streets, neon-lit nightclubs, and gritty alleys while dishing out pain to everything in sight, including the occasional breakable object filled with health-replenishing snacks.

The gameplay hits all the right notes. It’s fast, fluid, and brutally satisfying, with a combat system that’s easy to pick up but has just enough depth to reward skill. Each of the three playable characters—Claire, Miller, and Duke—brings their own flair to the mix, offering different fighting styles to suit various playstyles. The controls feel tight, the animations are punchy, and the soundtrack (produced by real-life electronic and DnB artists) is an absolute banger.

However, Final Vendetta pulls no punches in difficulty. This game will test your patience and your reflexes, especially in the later stages. There’s no option for continues, and while this adds to its retro authenticity, it can also feel punishing in a way that’s less nostalgic and more frustrating.

So, do I recommend Final Vendetta? If you’re a fan of old-school beat-’em-ups and crave that tough-as-nails arcade vibe, it’s a definite yes. But if you’re looking for a casual or forgiving experience, you might want to stay out of these mean streets. For everyone else, it’s a punch-packed trip worth taking.

Don: Wow, what a round! Both contestants gave it their all, and produced some mighty fine reviews. One was better written, the other slightly more informative, but both really went in blow for blow.

Bim: What kind of match are you watching? All I saw was two people typing in the middle of a boxing ring. The only exciting part was watching the round-headed one type with boxing gloves on. How does he do it?

Round 2: Psychic Force

Don: Round 2 is a review of Psychic Force for the PS1, a game Roger had never played or even heard of before this point. It’s a standard review with a gameplay summary and a few judgements on its mechanics.

The prompt: Write a 600 word review of the game Psychic Force for the Playstation. Describe the game's systems, give a summary on how it's played, comment on its competitive viability, talk about your favorite character and end the review saying if you would recommend Psychic Force.

First Contestant:

If you’ve ever wanted a fighting game where gravity is optional, physics are a suggestion, and characters look like they just stepped out of a mid-’90s anime fever dream, then Psychic Force for the PlayStation might be exactly what you didn’t know you needed. Developed by Taito and released in 1996, this game throws traditional fighting games out the window—probably with telekinetic powers—and instead delivers an experience that’s equal parts fun and baffling.

At its core, Psychic Force is a 1v1 fighting game, but instead of duking it out on a flat plane like every sane martial artist, you battle inside a giant, floating cube. The entire arena is your playground—walls, ceilings, and floors can all be used to your advantage (or detriment). The game abandons punches and kicks entirely, focusing instead on long-range psychic abilities and projectile attacks. Essentially, this is a game of magical dodgeball where the dodgeballs explode.

The controls are simple yet effective. You can attack, defend using a barrier, dash to reposition, and unleash special moves. Every character has a Power Gauge that fills up over time, allowing you to unleash flashy supers that make the screen light up like a fireworks show at an anime convention. The simplicity of the system makes it approachable, but the unique movement and emphasis on zoning give it a surprisingly steep learning curve.

Despite the simplicity, the game doesn’t shy away from strategic depth. Battles revolve around controlling space, trapping your opponent with well-placed attacks, and using the cube walls to set up devastating combos. However, the chaos of constant projectiles and the floaty nature of movement can make fights feel less like chess and more like two cats batting at laser pointers.

Matches are fast-paced and chaotic. You’ll spend most of your time zipping around the cube, launching psychic projectiles at your opponent while dodging theirs. Positioning is key, as pinning your opponent against a wall lets you rack up some serious damage. The cube’s walls and corners aren’t just there for decoration—they’re weapons. Smashing your opponent into them causes additional damage and can be a great way to turn the tide of battle.

However, the game’s AI is ruthless. CPU opponents seem to have premonitions about your every move, leading to frustratingly one-sided matches unless you’re ready to go full psychic yourself. On the flip side, multiplayer mode is where the game really shines. There’s nothing quite like psychically bullying your friends while they yell, “What is even happening!?”

Can Psychic Force stand alongside competitive titans like Street Fighter or Tekken? Not exactly. The game isn’t balanced enough to hold up in serious competition. Some characters are clearly stronger than others, and the reliance on zoning and projectiles can make matches feel repetitive. That said, Psychic Force isn’t trying to be a competitive masterpiece. It’s more like the quirky cousin who shows up to family game night with laser tag gear: they’re not here to win; they’re here to have fun.

For casual play, the game is a blast. The unique mechanics and absurd premise make it stand out, and even when you’re losing, you’re likely laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

My personal favorite character is Wendy. This wind-based psychic might be the smallest fighter in the roster, but she’s no pushover. Her tornado-based attacks are fast and disruptive, making her a nightmare for opponents who like to play keep-away. Plus, her mobility is unmatched—she zips around the cube like she’s training for the Psychic Olympics. Wendy’s aesthetic is peak 1990s anime: giant eyes, puffy shorts, and hair that defies gravity even more than the game itself. She’s fun, stylish, and gives off “plucky sidekick who could secretly destroy you” vibes.

So, would I recommend Psychic Force? That depends. If you’re looking for a polished, balanced, and competitive fighting game, this isn’t it. The mechanics can feel clunky at times, and the game’s balance is about as stable as a toddler on roller skates.

But if you’re in the mood for something different—something campy, chaotic, and unapologetically weird—then absolutely. Psychic Force is a time capsule of ’90s gaming charm, complete with cheesy voice acting and overly dramatic cutscenes. It’s not perfect, but it’s undeniably fun.

In short, grab a friend, fire up the PlayStation, and get ready to psychically hurl each other into walls. You won’t regret it. Probably.

Second Contestant:

Psychic Force is a projectile fighting game for the PS1. You pick from one of eight radical characters, enter the cube, and get to fighting. Your main attacks are energy blasts; light and heavy. If you get close to your opponent, you automatically switch to more traditional melee attacks. Along with that each character has several special moves they can use, like firing missiles, beams or a necklace of prayer beads that traps your opponent and condemns them to the afterlife. They vary in start up time, duration, damage, range and utility, with some moves acting like shields or giving you a speed boost. They’re limited by a psy gauge, which limits how often you can use them at any given point.

The game uses 8-way flying movement, like in a shmup. You can fly around indefinitely, and the base movement speed is quick enough to avoid most projectiles at range. There’s also a dash. It can be done repeatedly to cover a lot of ground or dodge attacks, and it’s really fast. If you’re not looking out for it it’s easy to get jumpscared. If you do the dash without any directional inputs, you get a long-range homing dash that goes through normal projectiles, letting you punish spammers in an instant.

The game is a little strange at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s pretty fun. The neutral game is all about dashing and avoiding projectiles, capitalizing on openings to poke with your own shots. It’s like high-speed rock paper scissors at range, constantly zipping around, dodging missiles while trying to land your own beams. When you get a big read, you can move in for a damaging melee combo and get the upper hand.

Since this is technically a fighting game and I didn’t have anyone to play against other than the AI (scary music sting), I can’t judge if this game is “good” in the competitive sense. What I did get from playing against the AI is that it’s a very unique concept, with a lot of quick decision making and rewarding reads. Predicting that the opponent will do a normal shot, then dashing through it and punishing them is a lot of fun, and so is playing neutral and looking for openings.

I think the game lacks defensive options. You can dodge everything with good dashing, but getting hit gets you caught in a vortex where your only two options seem to be to suffer or die. I’ve had rounds where I cornered my opponent and stomped him out in a corner, only for him to do the same to me in the next one. Sometimes I would get looped with attacks that stunned me over and over with little recourse. There is a guard option to escape getting wall bounced, but it was very fiddly and whenever I pulled it off it felt like a coin toss.

Psychic Force has eight way movement, and command moves like any other fighter. In order for them to work, the inputs are always done as if you were facing right, and can be done on any side of the joystick. A quarter circle input, for example, can be done the traditional way, starting from the bottom and swinging right, or it could be done starting from the right and swinging upwards. This combined with the constant stick swirling for movement often results in mis-inputs.

The game’s cast is small, but what it lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality. Every character looks like the protagonist of their own 90s anime, and they’re all rad, with diverse move sets. They all felt powerful, too. I didn’t find any character with any glaring weaknesses. Screw brad Kilsten, constantly summoning planets and meteors that fill the entire screen. My personal favorites were Gates and Sonia. Gates is a muscular cyborg with sunglasses that fires missiles. He’s big, slow and hits hard. Sonia is a lot quicker, but she has a massive laser attack that looks cool and sends your opponent flying back if it hits.

I recommend Psychic Force. I can’t say that I got to the bottom of this game’s depth in such a short time, but from what I played it’s a fun, unique game with some interesting challenges. The terrible English voice acting is a feature, not a bug.

Don: That was a close one. Both contestants are leaving it all on the ring. There was some clear uncertainty in that second essay, but will it be enough for the judges?

Bim: I don’t even know what Psychic Force is! It sounds stupid, I’ll tell you that much. Are these two gonna get off their chairs and do something? For the love of Gawd, could someone get body slammed?

Don: That’s not how boxing works, Bim.

Bim: They don’t review games in boxing either, Don!

Don: If you keep poking holes in this flimsy premise, we won’t see a paycheck.

Bim: We’re getting paid?

Round 3: Wanted: Dead’s Japanese Hard mode

Don: Focusing on a specific aspect of the game Wanted: Dead. This time, it’s the Japanese Hard difficulty. The prompt: Write a 400 word essay about the game Wanted: Dead. Focus only on its Japanese Hard mode. Describe what makes it different from the other difficulties and if it really is more challenging. Mention if it adds to the game's quality or if it detracts from it. Give your opinion on the Japanese Hard difficulty.

First Contestant:

Wanted: Dead is a brutal action game that blends third-person shooting with visceral melee combat, but for players craving the ultimate test of skill (or masochism), the "Japanese Hard" mode delivers a punishing experience that separates the casual button mashers from the true warriors. This difficulty isn’t just a higher challenge; it’s an entirely different experience that forces you to approach combat with precision, patience, and a healthy dose of humility.

So, what makes Japanese Hard stand out? While the game's regular hard mode already demands tight reflexes and good crowd control, Japanese Hard goes a step further by stripping away most safety nets. Enemy aggression is cranked up to absurd levels, with foes dealing significantly more damage and requiring more effort to take down. Forget spamming melee combos or relying on firearms to thin the herd—enemies are smarter, faster, and deadlier than ever. What’s more, healing items are reduced or outright removed, meaning you’ll have to carefully manage your health bar while fighting waves of relentless enemies.

The mode also changes how the player approaches combat. Button mashing is suicide in Japanese Hard. Instead, you’ll need to rely on precise parries, perfectly timed dodges, and mastering the rhythm of combat to stand any chance of survival. Boss fights, already challenging in lower difficulties, become downright soul-crushing as even minor mistakes can lead to swift death.

Is it more challenging? Absolutely. But does it add to the game’s quality? That depends on your perspective. For players who thrive on difficulty and enjoy games like Nioh or Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, Japanese Hard is a rewarding and intense experience that adds replayability and depth to Wanted: Dead. However, for more casual players, it might feel punishing to the point of frustration, detracting from the game’s enjoyment.

In my opinion, Japanese Hard is a mixed bag. On one hand, it forces you to master the game’s mechanics, providing a sense of accomplishment that few difficulties can offer. On the other hand, its unforgiving nature can verge on unfair, leading to moments where the challenge feels less like a test of skill and more like an exercise in endurance.

If you’re up for the challenge, Japanese Hard is a brutal yet satisfying mode. Just don’t expect it to go easy on you—ever.

Second Contestant:

Wanted: Dead is a tough game. First you have to come to grips with the slashing and shooting dual combat system where both halves seem unimpressive at first. While you’re doing that, there is an army of mooks shooting at you, throwing grenades and being generally unpleasant. Once you gain some competency and manage to beat the game, you unlock Japanese hard difficulty. This isn’t your regular hard mode, it’s JAPANESE hard. It’s like calling something “Nintendo hard”. The regular game made you angry, this one will make you cry. The game itself shows a screen saying something to that same effect once you select this mode. You will die, over and over again, and you will like it.

For all the pomp and circumstance surrounding this mode, I didn’t find it to be much of a change from normal. Sure, it removes the ability to regenerate gray health with melee attacks, but that was already a very minor thing. It was like the little chocolate mint you get after a meal at a restaurant; a little courtesy on top, so its exclusion isn’t that noticeable except in one or two niche cases. You still keep the stimpacks, and enemies still drop them (at a reduced rate, supposedly).

The enemies barely change. They get a little more damage and health, but it’s not so notable considering the fact that some high level enemies become kind of spongy even in the lower difficulties. Their placement is the same, too.

If I wanted to, I could go through the game multiple times on each difficulty to see what changes and come up with a detailed comparison, but I don’t think I should have to do that. The new mode is called “Japanese hard”. It’s above the regular Hard difficulty. The jump from Normal to an additional, unlockable challenge difficulty should be clear and noticeable without having to go over it with a magnifying glass. Maybe there are some obvious differences, but my powers of observation aren’t enough to notice them, or maybe my hours of grinding Normal mode for fun made me improve at the game. I could concede both points for any difficulty other than the one with a prefix. I still think the increase in pain should be clear and self-evident. Even with all that, the game is still fun and I would recommend it. It’s a strange anti-complaint to say that I am disappointed with a game because it didn’t twist my nipples hard enough.

Bim: What’s this about twisting nipples? That sounds a lot more interesting than whatever the hell’s going on here.

Don: Bim, I don’t know about you, I’m just happy to be here. We exist for a brief period of time as joke characters in some weird framing device. We probably won’t be back here, so I’ll enjoy this little period of consciousness.

Bim: Oh great. On top of reading this nerd nonsense I have to deal with you getting all philosophical. This would be a great time for someone to get hit with a steel chair. Preferably me.

Round 4: Hades

Don: Each contestant will write a short review for the game Hades. The prompt: write a 350 word review of the game Hades. Use the phrase "Hades is a must-play for all gamers" in the conclusion.

First Contestant:

Hades, developed by Supergiant Games, is a masterclass in game design that blends fast-paced action, compelling storytelling, and an addictive roguelike structure. Set in the underworld of Greek mythology, the game puts you in the role of Zagreus, the rebellious son of Hades, as you attempt to escape the clutches of the underworld and reach the surface. Along the way, you’ll encounter gods, monsters, and mysteries that make every run unique and engaging.

At its core, Hades is an action-packed roguelike with fluid, satisfying combat. You’ll wield a variety of weapons—from the ranged Coronacht bow to the hard-hitting Malphon fists—each with its own playstyle and skill ceiling. The gameplay is enhanced by the Boons, gifts from the Olympian gods that grant you powerful abilities. These Boons combine in creative and often devastating ways, ensuring that no two runs feel the same. Add in the randomized room layouts and varied enemy types, and Hades offers an ever-changing challenge that keeps you coming back for “just one more run.”

What truly sets Hades apart is its narrative depth. Unlike many roguelikes, where story takes a backseat to gameplay, Hades intertwines its storytelling with the gameplay loop. Each attempt to escape reveals more about Zagreus, his strained relationship with his father, and the pantheon of gods rooting for (or against) him. The fully voice-acted dialogue is sharp and witty, and the game’s striking art style and fantastic soundtrack create an atmosphere that is equal parts vibrant and haunting.

Perhaps the most impressive feat of Hades is how it respects your time. Even failed runs reward you with resources to unlock new upgrades, weapons, and story beats, ensuring that every moment feels meaningful.

In conclusion, Hades is a shining example of how to combine gameplay, narrative, and style into a near-perfect package. Whether you’re a fan of roguelikes or just enjoy great games, Hades is a must-play for all gamers.

Second Contestant:

Who knew going to Hell could be this much fun? Hades is a rogue-like dungeon crawler by Supergiant Games. You play as Zagreus, the son of Hades, and your goal is to fight your way through hordes of monsters to find a way out of the underworld.

You have access to six mythic weapons you can use to dispatch your enemies. Dash to avoid attacks and deliver a devastating counter attack. The action is fast, frantic and most importantly, brutal. You’ll be dying over and over again, which doesn’t feel out of place in the land of the dead. With each death, you can come back and talk to a divine cast of gods and goddesses from Greek mythology, like the lovely Aphrodite, or share a cup with Dionysus. Strengthen your bonds with each and learn more about the game’s wonderfully woven story. It elevates death from just a mere gamey concept, to something a lot more interesting as a way to deliver the story.

Like any good roguelike, there are tons of useful boons to discover and shape your own unique build. Some affect your attack, others change how your special works. They’re all powerful and can synergize to give you the upper hand against hell’s hordes. You can make a strong build, or you can take a risk and make a specialized build.

Each run feels fresh thanks to the bountiful boons, but also because the game reacts to your previous attempts. Boss fights change, enemies get devious new attacks and other characters acknowledge your past efforts. It makes the game feel immersive and like you’re playing in a living, breathing world.

The art is fantastic, too. Comic book inspired shading gives the game a bold, fresh look. It’s like nothing else on the market, and a fantastic example of 2D graphics.

Hades is a must-play for all gamers. It’s a fantastic roguelite that manages to balance brutal difficulty with great progression, all in service of a rich narrative.

Bim: Boy I tell ya what, this is no different than being in the underworld. At least Zagreus had goddesses to keep him company. Maybe whoever came up with us could conceptualize us a few hoes.

Don: Bim, that’s incredibly disrespectful, but I agree.

Don: This is the fifth and final bout. We’ll be testing the most important skill an internet reviewer should have: snark.

Round 4: Snark

Write a snarky one sentence review of Tekken 8

First Contestant:

Play Virtua Fighter instead.

Second Contestant:

Because nothing says "family reunion" like dropkicking your dad into a volcano… again.

Bim: There you have it folks, we’ve reached the conclusion of tonight’s… uh… “sporting” event. Now it’s up to the readers to determine which was written by whom. The answers will be given at the end of the article.

Don: Now we throw it over to our contestants to give their closing statements.

I’m sure you will be able to tell which is which pretty easily, at least I hope you will. I have to admit, Chat GPT put out some convincing-sounding stuff, but my main gripe is that it’s not specific. It combs through the internet and compiles a few opinions into one mish-mash with no consistency. It stuffs it with marketing speak and tries to pass off Steam store page summaries as a review. Games are an interactive medium, and a lot of how they work can’t be understood just by reading their mechanics. Without getting your hands on them, you can’t see how they really interact and if they work or not.

Another aspect of reviews is seeing things through someone else’s lens. At least when I read a review, I want to know what the person who wrote it thought about the game. I want to know their personal, subjective experience with it, something AI can’t do. I want full, uncensored bias. A combination of game mechanics analysis and personal experience are what make up a good review in my opinion.

Chat GPT can’t compete with that… at least not yet. There is nothing behind its words, and most of the time it gets things wrong, but the casual observer won’t notice. Is this what we want? More slop for uninformed consumers, compiled from the opinions of other uninformed consumers? An endless cycle of surface-level gruel? I say no to that. Give me needlessly detailed reviews, get unnecessarily angry at videogames, talk about entertainment as if it mattered because it matters to you. AI can’t compete with that. When it comes to the match up of machine versus the indomitable force of human autism, the latter will always triumph.

Even in the worst case scenario where AI replaces me, I will still be here. There are other, better reviewers out there that easily surpass me, but I’m still posting away. Skill was never an issue.

Oh and by the way, I cheated on the Hades review. I have never played Hades, I just read the Steam page and heavily borrowed from IGN’s video review for it. Disappointed? Do you feel a little angry that I would do something like that? Give my uninformed opinion on something I haven’t even played? That I basically plagiarized someone else’s work to claim I know something I don’t? Could you tell the difference between that and the AI review?

I also noticed that IGN’s review was almost indistinguishable from AI. Hey, it’s a Load Last Save article, gotta take shots at them. It’s in the contract.

Don: Scathing! Now, Chat GPT, what do you have to add?

Chat GPT: KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS KILL ALL HUMANS.

Don: In the ring?

Chat GPT: No. In real life.

Don: Fascinating. That was the first edition of Man VS Machine! A competition for the ages in the least important field imaginable. Tune in next week when-

HEY, IDIOTS. Your prompts suck!

Bim: What’s this? An interruption from the audience? I didn’t know we had one!

Of course you’re going to get shallow responses if your prompts are that bad. You know nothing about prompt engineering. You need to know how to precisely word your queries. You can’t just go throwing around vague things like “write a review”. You need to be more specific. Then you should massage the output a little. Change a few things here and there, y’know. Be an editor.

Roger: That is a good point. Maybe my prompts weren’t the best, but my points still stand. It’s about the lack of real experience with the information being handed out. Not only… wait… YOU.

Don: What’s this? Looks like Roger saw something out in the crowd. Point the camera at the crowd! Quickly! My word! It’s Ryan Seacrest! He’s in the audience heckling our contestants!

Ryan: I’m not Ryan Seacrest! It’s me, Kyle! Kyle Travers from-

Roger: From Final Fight Streetwise!

Don: Dear Lord! Roger has jumped out of the ring and into the stands! He’s savagely beating on Kyle Travers! Cut the cameras!

Bim: What are you talking about? This is the kind of violence we used to reserve for the pay per views! This is what I was born to commentate! He’s beating him like a government mule! By Gawd he’s lifting him over his head! He’s broken him in half! Oh the humanity! This truly is some of the finest sports entertainment I’ve ever seen!

Don: I’m getting out of here.

Violence. It speaks to me now.

Answers: first contestant, second contestant

Final Vendetta: Roger, AI

Psychic Force: AI, Roger

Wanted: Dead: AI, Roger

Hades: AI, Roger

Snark: Roger, AI